I'm sure by now you have read Michael's post regarding one, $c0tty C0rm$ and a certain photograph of him that may or may not have been taken against his will. If you are not presently familiar with what I am referring to, or just want a refresher, I suggest you do some research here. While Mike claims to be expressing a tribute to Scott and his astonishing mustachioed visage, it seems a touch condescending to me. This type of disparaging of the good Cormier name will not fly with yours truely. For this reason I must swoop to the defense Scott, if for no other reason than to make Mike look bad.
It goes without saying that the picture in question is, in a hyphenated word, mind-blowing. Not only does it feature Cormier's grinning mug, but also...that lip toupee that he's sporting...glorious. However, unlike Michael, I do not wish to question Cormier's choice of appearance. On the contrary, I wish to laud it. The mustache is currently a vastly underused facial hair style. For one reason or another it has fallen out of favor amongst the youth of the world in recent years and is no longer "cool" or "hip" or "groovy" or whatever the kids are saying now. Instead, the 'stache has garnered a reputation of being creepy or grown only as means for a joke. Girls don't date guys with mustaches, and frankly, I don't understand why. For generations, the mustache was a staple of male awesomeness. Now, it's a dying breed. But you know what? I don't give a damn what they say or what they think. The mustache is a bad (meaning good) look and I have examples to prove it...
You like gold medals? Mark Spitz had a killer stache and it took him to an unprecedented seven wins in the 1972 Olympics. That can never be topped right. If you've been alive for the last 6 months you know that's obviously not true. But it took a mustache, in addition to being a freak, for Mike Phelps to get it done.
Not an Olympics fan? How about MVP awards. And I don't mean Most Valuable Player. No, no. I'm talking about Most Valuable Pushbroom, as in the one seen on the upper lip of these legends. Ever heard of Larry Bird? Dennis Eckersley? Keith Hernandez? He won eleven straight gold gloves at first base. Not that you'd know the first thing about first base.
Sports examples not for you? How about rock and roll? Ever heard of famous mustache bearers: Frank Zappa, Freddy Mercury, or Villanova's finest Jim Croce (now THAT'S a mustache)? Or perhaps plumbing is more your thing. Maybe you're more a fan of the villainous type? Captain Hook had a pretty sweet pencil thin curly-Q number. As did Yogi Bear's nemesis Dick Dasterdly.
Still looking for a hero? How about the ultimate mustache. That's right, I'm talking about Mr. Tom Selleck.
A hollywood superstar and bona fide television icon. He's Magnum P.I. for goodness sakes. I mean the guy bedded down Monica.
You still think a moustache can't sell?
Boom.
That's right ladies. That picture was taken 20 minutes ago...you know how to reach me.
So as you can see, Scotty C was ahead of his time with that mustache of his. If he were smart he'd grow it back. Obviously, all the cool kids are doing it now. The mouthbrow is making a comeback and there's nothing to do but get on board.
Finally, as I'm sure you've noticed by now, I have added a poll to the blog. It is located to my right, your right as you're reading this, and attempts to pin down the ultimate attribute of your humble author. Or not so humble, whatever. I'd add my ability to grow a fierce mustache as an option to the poll, but I'm afraid we'd end up with a runaway. So, in the interest of fairness, let's just keep the voting status quo and figure out my second best attribute. Until we meet again...goodnight sweet...oh wait, that's taken. I guess I'll just send this in.
I hate you
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