Cool as I wanna be

As I was strolling down the hall of my apartment building today, on my way to toss some clothes in the dryer (that's right ladies, I'm domestic, just like my idol) I heard one of my neighbors bumping to the Michael Jackson classic "Thriller." My first thought was, "Really guy? King of Pop on a Sunday?" But then something strange happened. I couldn't help myself. That hypnotic beat and evil laugh took over my body and without warning I began to Thriller-dance down the hallway until some guy came around the corner and scared the bleep out of me. That's when I realized, no matter how weird the dude is now, old-school Michael Jackson is freakin' cool.

So that got me thinking, now that we have newly inaugurated, cool president, I figured it was high time I put the cool stamp on some things that you may or may not have realized were awesome.

Let's begin with style. First off, the word "style" is outstanding and can be used in a variety of excellent ways, but we'll get to sweet verbiage in due time. For now, here are some cool style choices for you all.

Plaid shirts. Straight up, plaid shirts are awesome. So versatile, so multifaceted. They can be worn working in the yard or for a night of socializing on the town. Two of my most favorite past times, by the way.

Crew socks. You may not know this, but crew socks are so cool. Not only do they keep your calves warm in the frigid winter months, but they look downright mean with a pair of gym shorts and some sneaks.

Scarves. Mike mentioned how his mom always wants him to grab a hat and gloves. Well I have witnessed this phenomenon on several occaisions, always in my classy scarf, and each time Mrs. Nim chimes in with a "Pat's got his scarf." Condescending Michael never fails to respond, "I'm not a scarf guy." Oh yeah, Mike? You who are scarf guys? Me and my buddy Tom. Verdict: Cool as can be.

There are plenty more pieces of stylish apparel that I deem to be cool, but we'll save those for another time. Now, let's move to the tunage. Now I know Nimerhousekey likes to make his little "recommendations." Keep in mind, this is not what I'm doing. In fact, I was going to list some of the jams I have been enjoying lately, but I wouldn't want Mike to see them and recommend them as "finds" of his own (Kings of Leon anyone...). Plus if I divulge my current favorite songs, it would ruin the surprise and when I use them on upcoming mix CDs (get excited ladies). Don't want my mixes to feature stale songs, so I'll simply unveil the coolest song you've never heard, unless you happened to frequent 207 Moulden circa 2007:

Done and done. Moving on, doesn't get cooler.

Before we continue with the cool stuff, lets get some uncool things out of the way.

1. Being a wuss.

2. Being a wuss who feels the need to link to pictures of someone else's legitimate fear (obviously not including the orange, that's just stupid).

3. Trying to be cool. You look like a fool to me.

OK, back to cool stuff.

Wolves. You may not agree with me that wolves are the coolest animals around, but you gotta admit, they are pretty fierce. Not only do they have awesome fangs, unparalleled hunting skills and a family oriented society, they freaking howl. OWooooooooooooooOOww. Whatever, I'm weird. At least I'm not this guy. Actually I wish I was that guy. That is so cool.

Friday Night Lights. Read the book. Dug it. Saw the movie. Dug it. The TV show? Tops them all. I was skeptical at first, I'll be honest, but I am ON BOARD. Rolled through the entire series last week and am caught up and ready for this Friday. It's so ballin. I know I'm coming off like exactly what I disparaged Mike for with his recommendations, but this show is really good. It doesn't even pull the normal teen TV show crap and make the females look like decent humans. Nope, shows the reality that girls are mean. Sorry.

For the final addition to this installment of "What Pat thinks is cool" I give you medieval erotic fiction. What is that you ask? One of my hobbies includes writing short stories and novels. I've been know to dabble in fictional erotica based in the middle ages. For those familiar with the genre you may recognize such titles as "The Advertures of Sir Pantsareoff," "Joust the Four of Us," and "Hot Days, Passionate Knights," penned under my pseudonym H.E. Camealot (That's what she said). They are available at your local adult book and video store.

Well, that's all for now. Try not to think about what's right or wrong (or wrong or right) but think about what's cool or not. Peace out.