I lost my number can I have yours?

What's poppin' blogosphere? Sorry I haven't been posting every 8 seconds like my homeboy "Nims" does, but I actually have a life. Yeah, that's a lie, I don't. I'm just lazy. Anyway here's some thoughts for your enjoyment. Enjoy.

As you may know, one of my many passions is practical jokes (others include: ping pong, melting your heart, jump shooting, hot dogs, and free cell). As a prankster myself, I obviously appreciate a good ruse when I see one, especially when I am not the one getting punked. So, when I heard about a practical joke occurring at the Pro Bowl, I was intrigued to say the least. There is one caveat to my love for the art of the practical joke, however, and it is that none must be harmed in the creation of hilariousness, be it physically, mentally or otherwise. Which is why this story piqued my interest.

For those who didn't hear the saga involving famous people getting pranked, here's the short version. At the NFL Pro Bowl, Jay Cutler was the victim of a joke at the hands of criminal mastermind, and second rate quarterback Peyton Manning. Peyton plotted with a pair of hulking O-linemen to push Cutler into a large concrete hole that had been filled with water known in Hawaii as a "pool". Being the cerebral game manager he is, Peyton made sure to swipe Cutler's cell phone first. You know, to protect it from being ruined. Blah blah blah, they push him in and low and behold Cutler's diabetes monitor gets ruined because THAT was in his pocket. Now this is a semi-national story because Cutler was sans diabetes monitor for a few hours while he was lounging on the beach.

Here's the thing though. I think it would have been a far greater loss for Cutler if it was the cell piece in his pocket and not the diabetes monitor. First of all, imagine losing your cell phone. Sure, you'll get the numbers of your friends back. But think of all the random digits you've aquired over the years. I, for one, have at least two, maybe three phone numbers belonging to dope babes that, should I lose my phone, I would lose forever. Now imagine you are famous NFL quarterback. Kid's got to have ill contacts.

Picture this. Cutler is in Tampa for the Super Bowl last week. Likely, anyone who's anyone goes to the Super Bowl. Say he attends the Maxim party. Again, likely. He's an NFL quarterback in his mid 20's. Trust me, he was there. Said party would obviously be crawling with delicious babes and celebs alike. What if he was able to score some numerals? (This is not as likely. Cutler is kinda goofy looking. Not like myself. I would, of course, clean up. For the sake of the story, humor me though.) What if he got Marisa Miller's number? Megan Fox's? Imagine getting that number, having it for a few days, then losing it at the hands of Peyton F'ing Manning. Unreal. He may make decent commercials and throw a nice spiral, but if that stiff lost me Sophia Bush's phone number, it would be over for him.

Well that was the extent of my random thoughts for the evening. Not my best work I know, but I feel Jay Cutler's pain (or his would-be pain, whatever, I forgot I vented about a made up scenario) and thought I should weigh in. No, I never had my phone ruined by being tossed in a body of water. And no, I never lost a supermodel's number. But I have lost a phone before and thus been missing the digits of several young ladies who are no doubt still awaiting my call. Also I've had the misfortune of being thrown in a pool. Above ground. I don't know how I didn't see it coming, but rest assured, I will have my vengeance.